Cinnamon Honey Butter

The thing about being a stay at home mom (or stay-in-bed mom if you're Lindsay Bluth) is everyone expects you to be all domestic.  They expect you to bake your own bread, and sew your own Halloween costumes and scrapbook every time your child picks their nose.  Well... when we first got married, I was not domestic-like.  At all.  I called my mom on more than one occasion asking how to bake a potato. 

I'm working on all that domestic-goodness, but if you, like me, struggle with domesticity (say it out loud.  it's fun.)... just whip up some of this butter.  It takes five seconds.  (Well probably like 5 minutes).  And then you can tell everyone you made your own butter.  Personally I told my mom I churned it myself from the cow I milked out back, but if you're not a high-roller, you can leave that part out. People will still be impressed and want to be you.

PS-I made this because somebody on Pinterest claimed it's just like Texas Roadhouse honey butter.  Moral of the story- do not trust strangers on Pinterest.  It doesn't taste exactly like TR honey butter... but it's pretty dang good. I found it a bit strong on the honey flavor, but I have a bit of an aversion to honey. Probably cause when I was little my sister always told me it was bee's barf. While I was eating it.

Now that you're salivating... feel free to try some honey butter.

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Eyeball Pretzel Bites

Mmmkay, let's not even talk about how belated this post is.  I had really hoped to have this up in time for Halloween, because it's such a fun, easy, treat for kids to make.  (People always say that, but really, truly, your two year old can help you make these. Without you screaming and lunging across the room every 2 seconds to keep him from diving into a hot oven).

I fell ill with the plague of death (aka a cold) and whined and moaned for about 2 weeks (mostly about how you should be able to buy prescriptions through WebMD since you've al-READY diagnosed yourself.  Psshhhhh. By the way, does anyone else end up with cancer every time they use that thing?  I think there's a slight possibility I'm becoming a cyberchondriac.)

And then I got over it and decided you probably still need this anti-recipe, even though it's late.  You can use it next year.  Or you can find some other excuse to make eyeball snacks with your kids.  I'm pretty sure you probably have a myriad of those.

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Watermelon Jolly Rancher Cupcakes

My husband puts up with a lot.  Like coming home to find me wielding a hammer and trying to smash Jolly Ranchers to dust on our brand new wood floor. 

There are some things you folks can learn from SECOND hand experience, one of those being- Jolly Ranchers cannot be crushed with a hammer, mallet, rolling pin, food processor, or other sharp, heavy, or intimidating object- unless already altered from their original state! Seriously, those babies are HARD. Read on for the method I finally got to work.

The cupcakes can be assembled super fast if you make the cupcakes and Jolly Rancher topping/dust in advance.  Be aware the dust will clump over time (see picture above) so if you prefer an even, sugary look, you may want to do this day-of.

To make these you'll need some Jolly Ranchers, I bought a variety bag and tried blue raspbery, cherry, and watermelon.  Watermelon was by FAR the most delicious.  Next time I will just buy those watermelon Jolly Rancher "sticks" from Maceys for about 15 cents each and call it a day.

Jolly Rancher Cupcakes

-Watermelon jolly ranchers
-Vanilla cupcakes, baked and cool (from a box is fine)
-White frosting (I used Vanilla Bean Buttercream. If you use this one be sure to use unsalted butter, but do add a pinch or two of salt to taste. This frosting isn't my favorite but it worked well for these cupcakes.  You want something that's not too insanely sugary, because you are going to be adding candy all over the top of it. Next time I may try a marshmallow frosting without some of the sugar and see how it turns out.)

Place your jolly ranchers on a parchment-lined baking tray and bake in a 300 degree oven for 5 to 10 minutes, until they're melted flat.  (You will have jolly rancher puddles basically). Remove pan and allow to cool to room temperature. You can now put the flat brittle pieces (that's all of them) in a heavy freezer bag and crush with a rolling pin.  You could also try putting them in a food processor. When fully crushed, place jolly rancher dust in a small bowl.

Frost each cupcake and either roll in Jolly rancher dust, or sprinkle the dust on top. Chances are you will want big beautiful frosting clouds like in my picture, but truly, these are yummier with a small amount of frosting and a LARGE dusting of jolly rancher dust.  When I ate mine I knocked off about 3/4 of that frosting.

That's it!  So simple!

Well,  minus the hammer-smashing-fun part.

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Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Brownies

After the Twix Brownies, how could we not, really?  Twix is still my favorite, but these are pretty high on the list.

I actually split my brownie mix between two pans and tried these two separate ways- topped with Reeses before baking, and topped with Reeses right after baking.  EVERYONE went for the brownies topped post-baking, but tasting them blind- the baked-in version won every time.  So you really have to decide if you want pretty brownies or yummy brownies.  Unless you feel like compromising and doing both that is...

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Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies

I have mixed feelings about mint chocolate chip ice cream.  I really like mint and chocolate. Together.  (By the way, I think this is a girl thing, because the only two people I know who don't like mint/chocolate combo are my husband and my brother.  Men are weird.)  Anywhooo- I just don't like how the chocolate gets all hard and frozen in ice cream. I feel like chocolate should melt in your mouth.  Know what I'm sayin'?

Well friends, let me introduce you to my friend, the mint chocolate chip cookie.  These are yummy and a nice twist on the usual chocolate chip cookie.  They brown near the edges and there's not much you can do about it, but after lots of therapy, you'll probably get over it.  Don't be scared about using the sugar cookie mix.  These don't taste at all like a sugar cookie, and you'd never guess they use a mix. 

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Gingerbread Waffles with Cinnamon Syrup and Whipped Cream

Favorite. Breakfast. Ever.  That's all you need to know.  Every time I run out of dinner ideas- we end up eating these. I actually prefer them topped with whipped cream alone, but some of my family can't live without the cinnamon syrup.  If we ever have leftovers (rare), I freeze these for quick breakfasts and snacks and they are a hit.  These are a bit time intensive, so I don't recommend them for first thing in the morning when you're starving. 

Also, be aware, when you take the waffles off the iron they will be very limp.  Be careful not to tear them, but don't worry, they will crisp up as they cool down. 

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Carrot Patch Dirt Cups

I've been having issues lately. First was the death of my memory stick adapter which I use to move pictures from my camera to my computer.  Then we went on vacation (that's not so much an issue as just a super fun time). Next came the death of my laptop charger resulting in a looong "5-10 days delivery" without a computer.

By the way, I kid you not, that charger went out with a bang.  I woke up in the middle of the night to this weird crackling buzzing sound (which turned out to be my possessed charger).  I thought it would probably be a good idea to unplug it and throw it out immediately since a) it hadn't really been working for several days and b) it was smoking.  The good news is I didn't start a fire.  The bad news is, I no longer had a charger for my computer.  Even my husband, who is the "this can be salvaged" KING, agreed it needed to be thrown away.  (This is the man who packed flip flops for California that had (literally here guys) quarter sized HOLES in the heels. And refused to let me buy him new ones!  Because a dollar is DEFINITELY too much to pay Old Navy for a crappy pair of flip flops you might wear to the pool three times.)

Anyyyways, the point I am trying to make is that I have been absent for far too long for lots of bizarr-o reasons and I have lots of yummy treats backed up and begging to be posted, so check back often.


Dirt cups and I go way back to the first grade.  Or maybe even the kindergarten (you know- the garden where they keep children).  I brought dirt cups with gummy worms for my whole class on my birthday, knowing I was pretty much the coolest EVER. (My rolled socks, and scrunchie-tied XL shirt over leggings only added to that illusion, I assure you).

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Super Citrus Smoothie

I hate it when I'm making a milkshake and boys just start showing up in my yard.


(I totally found that on Pinterest, but whatev. I thought I would share the laugh with you.)

These aren't milkshakes.  Actually, they're kind of  *gasp*  healthy. Maybe the healthiest thing I will ever post, since this blog IS supposed to be about chocolate. I've had a bad cold lately (which probably explains why I haven't posted any delicious treats lately- I do apologize. It's rare that food leaves me disinterested.)

These are *kinda* like Jamba Juice Coldbusters.  Which are pretty much the center of my universe.  Well, really these aren't all that much like Coldbusters, except they both taste citrusy, but if you like those, I promise you will like these too.

By the way... Jamba should totally deliver.  Who's with me?

Enough rambling.  I have a date with Mr. Nyquil anways.

Let me know if your smoothie brings any boys to the yard.

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Snowman and Reindeer Oreo Pops

I started my Christmas shopping this week. So although I am painfully aware it is still August, I figured, what the heck, let's post a holiday treat.  I made these pops last year and have been promising to post them, and since I'm pretty sure I don't want to spend my *December* a very sacred month, posting OLD recipes, I'll just post them now for you.  I take it a personal responsibility to spread Christmas cheer before Halloween costumes are even in stores. PLUS if you're a freakish planner like me, you need lots of time to strategically plan which holiday treats to bake when, who to give them to, how to avoid having heaps of chocolate sitting on your counter all month... this time of year practically calls for a binder!  Oh wait, I have one of those.

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Rock Candy Cupcakes

Rock candy is a weird food.  I mean, there isn't really anything that good about it minus that it's pure sugar, which is always a good thing, but every time I see it I get this giddy feeling in my stomach like I'm 5 years old at a country candy store and my parents have caved for once and bought me a treat. After sucking on it for about 3 minutes you realize it doesn't really taste *that* good.  But next time you see it you have to buy it all over again.

I think nostalgia probably tastes better than anything.

My kids about flipped when I made these.  They taste like you'd expect, but I have to be honest; the texture bothered me.  The soft cupcake combined with the rock hard candy made for a really strange combination to chew in my mouth.  Things aren't ready to swallow at the same time... It's awkward.  The kids were too busy crunching and licking and smacking their lips to notice or care. This is definitely kid food.

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